Brighton for Easter

Lovely to be in Brighton with all the family. We packed up early and set off to the south. Mum and dad were already there. We set off to the beach to find stones with faces, fossils and do skimming... No not swimming. In the evening (yes I had got my nap in) we all went out for dinner and stayed the night. Xx

Good Friday

I tell you what, it is a Good Friday. But then every Friday is good! I went into work today to run the office. After work I started getting ready for going down to Brighton tomorrow and then had a massive afternoon sleep. The doctor told me that this fatigue should last another 4-5 weeks, then I should be back to normal. Yesterday Lorna came round to pick up some ironing to do in the school holidays. The children are excited about being off for Easter and about going down to see their cousins for Easter.

I caught the Easter bunny laying eggs.
They were way too small and didn't taste of chocolate.

I Love Life!

A spring in my step for Spring. Life is weird... today I could have been deciding how to spend my last few years; but instead I woke up feeling great (even though I had demolished nearly a whole bottle of Bollinger Champagne last night to celebrate)!! I bought the guys cakes at work.

This morning I told to the twins that the doctor has said that I am all better and won't have to go to hospital again for a long time. I explained that I may go back into hospital before Christmas to get a new bosom made. "Why?" they asked. "Because I may want one and I wouldn't be so wonky" I replied. "But you only need them for feeding babies". I then went on to advise them that I wouldn't have to wear my prosthesis anymore and that they would make the new breast from part of my tummy. "But would your tummy ever grow back?" they worriedly asked me "I hope not!" I replied.

Spelling is a lossed art

The Results Are in

What a long day. I took the children to school then went into work. Tommy came and met me at lunchtime and we went over to the hospital. Dr Shah told us that the scan was ALL CLEAR. he discharged me and doesn't need to see me again! What a relief I cannot believe it. If the shadow had of returned my life expectancy would have been upto five years. But now I get to go on, I will celebrate with Tommy tonight (will probably keel over from alcoholic poisoning)!

Thinking about AJG and LC ... xx

Worried? Me?

Wow, what weird dreams last night. All cancer and hospital related... I must be worried. It's so strange that tomorrow could be really bad news or really good news. If its bad news I don't want to know, but if its good I do! Tommy and I are seeing my oncologist Dr Shah at QEII at 2:30. He should give us the results of the recent cat scan, to see if the shadow on my lung is secondary breast cancer. Well whatever the outcome I think I will have a wee drinky.

Ferry nice holidays

Did not sleep at all well last night. Worried for results on Wednesday. I was tired at work, so had a sleep once I got home before going out for the evening to the children's music festival. A lovely evening.

We have booked a couple of UK holidays for this year, as foreign travel and insurance for me at the moment is not even worth it. Although for two of the holidays we will be travelling 'over seas'... One to the isle of Arran and one to the Isle of Wight! We also have a week booked in Aldeburgh, Suffolk.

I know, I know

Sorry guys for not blogging recently. Friday I set off for mount vernon with mum and dad, for my Indian head massage. The traffic was so bad that I called the cancer centre who advised me not to come as there had been a bad accident on the A1M. We turned back and mum and I went shopping in Welwyn Garden City instead. Very fun, but tireing. So slept well in the afternoon.

Saturday I took Rebecca to the local boys secondary school for a science week challenge. We had to drop an egg out of a second storey window! Very competitive... But we did it with a parachute!

After lunch I napped before we headed out for the evening to celebrate marks birthday. Had a lovely evening with a Thai meal.

Today, Sunday, we had a relaxing family day (surrounded by snow again). Tommy made another amazing Sunday roast and we watched more family video footage.

Head for the Mount?

Popped out of work this morning to have a quick coffee with Bev for her birthday, I have now started to get back into showing people around houses at work again. Another tired afternoon. I am meant to be going to mount vernon tomorrow to get an Indian head massage, to help relieve my stresses, but the actual thought of going back there is stressful enough, I am not sure whether to cancel my appointment or not.

Too tired to type

I made it yesterday without my power nap, although I did not sleep too well through the night. After school pick up and kids dinner tonight I went for a sleep, and stayed in bed for the night with a bowl of soup. Note to self: rest when I need it or else it all catches up with me, and I am not good with lack of sleep.

Night night xx

Burnt baps

Every day I have to wear a scarf around my neck to cover the burn appearing from the radiotherapy, it looks a bit like a love bite as it is at the base of my neck. Wow, it is so itchy... A bit like sunburn... I also have it on my back; that area is called the exit point.

Busy day at work, got lots done, and at home. I am starting to get more pains on my right hand side. I have been numb up until now, so I think that the numbness is starting to leave me and when I do my excersises the pain is getting worse. I get the results for my lung scan next Wednesday.

Xx

Cat. scan

Today I had to return to the Lister Hospital for another CT scan. I went into work then Tommy picked me up to take me. Because I have had lymph nodes removed from my right side, I am now, never allowed to take blood, cut or injure that arm as it may not cure itself. So they tried to find a vein in my left arm to insert the canular... But my veins are so hardened on the left arm from all the chemotherapy that it took one nurse, a doctor a lot of blood and pain and five attempts to get the tiny needle into a vein. The scan was a big whizzy donut thing, with some dye pumped through me. Tommy dropped me back off at work. Katz popped round straight after work, then I slept for hours.

Barge and Babies

Well, yesterday's was my 250th post. Today we had a lie in before I collected the kids. We walked into Hertford to The Old Barge to have some lunch. In the afternoon I napped, then we all watched old film footage of the kids!

The Party is Off

I am trying to download photos from my birthday but cannot get all this fandangled technology to talk to each other (that, or else now I have hit 47 I am too old to understand)!

Went into work today, left early tired. We were meant to be going out tonight but my tired body just won't let me. I had a powernap this afternoon. Oscar went to AJ for a party sleep over and Rebecca went to mum and dads for the night. I cancelled our night out, but Loz and Mark came round to ours and we got a take-away. 

What did one ball say to the other ball? 
Nothing - he just looked round

A relaxing day

Deb popped round this morning for a coffee and to bring me a beautiful white orchid. In the afternoon I went to see the twins in their school class assembly. Most of the class had onesies on and pyjamas for comic relief. Then this evening they went to the school disco. I called the hospital today and have now confirmed that I can see the Doctor sooner after the lung scan than previously scheduled.

It's My Party and I'll Cry if I want to

Today I celebrate my birthday.

I was born, at home, 47 years ago in Palmers Green, North London. The children jumped into bed with us this morning. 

I went into work for the morning then headed off to the local bar to meet my pals and the school mums for lunch. 

Loads off cards, lovely presents, facebook messages, and texts from friends and family. 

Had a fab time, then slept for the evening.

Old? I went to an antique auction today
three people bid on me

Iced Chelsea Buns

Now that takes me back!

I actually managed to get some sleep last night, so woke up today with a spring in my step. I took cakes into work for my birthday, yes I know it's my birthday tomorrow but the boys were hungry! In the afternoon the tiredness set in again, it's so frustrating. Popped round to see Mum and Dad who gave me a lovely bouquet of flowers and a lovely cheque for my birthday. The kids went to a party this evening whilst I slept. 

Tomorrow I share my birthday with: 

Albert Einstein (another genius)
Michael Caine
Billy Crystal
Qunicy Jones
Pam Ayres (another poet)
Jasper carrott (another funny person)!

Humpty dumpty died a crackhead

And I Quote....

"When a big change occurs in your life it forces you to change direction. Sometimes the new path may not be easy, but you can be absolutely certain that there is magnificence for you on the new path. You can be absolutely certain that the new path contains things that you could not have experienced otherwise.

When we look back at a negative event that occurred in the past, we often see how in fact it transformed our life. We see how that event directed us toward a life that we would not change for anything".

We'll see!

A Monday in March

I hardly got any sleep last night. I had a good day at work and lasted longer with my tiredness. Had a sleep around 6pm then a lazy evening... Soup in bed! Birthday Thursday, out for lunch. Out Saturday night, then lung scan on Monday.


What does the man in the moon do when his hair gets too long? Eclipse it

Mothering Sunday 2013

Flowers, homemade cards and keyring and a lie-in. Popped round to see my Mummy. Tommy cooked my favourite meal.... roast beef.  

I only sing in the shower

Lovely Lindsay

Another lazy day. Caught up on the ironing, then had a sleep in the afternoon. In the evening I went to Lindsay's surprise 40th karaoke party! No I did not sing! The last time I did karaoke I was 18 and got booed off the stage and things thrown at me; singing Roxanne by The Police!

I tried to write a pub crawl song
Didn't make it past the first few bars

I can Nail it

This morning when I woke up (after not a lot of sleep) I still felt low. My skin is now starting to burn and itch locally from the radiotherapy. From the school drop-off I went to meet Heidi for a little shop. Bought some tops (they're so much easier to buy than bottoms).... although now, I have really had to change the way I dress. High neck lines. We had some lunch, very civilized.

Came home early for a rest, before picking up the children. I slept in the afternoon. The children got their own tea; toasted cheese sandwiches, peanuts and apple juice. Tonight my big toenail fell off, yuck. But, like my fingernails, I am sure it will grow back, I cannot wait to use the voucher that Loz bought for me to get a manicure once my nails have come back.

Sorry to all who I have been very elusive with, but am in a strange place at the moment and sorting out lifes arrangements and appointments is confusing for my brain at the mo.

Albinos - you can't say fairer than that

Too tired

Too tired... Will blog tomorrow xx

Its now tomorrow, on Thursday I went into work in the morning then came home again at lunchtime. To rest. 

Snore

I needed a day off work to recover and to get some more energy. I spent the day in bed catching up on some rest. I think that I had gone back to work a little too early as I was still signed off by the doctor, but felt that I was up to it... clearly, I was wrong!

Emma took the children to school and Mum and Dad picked them up and took them home for tea, which gave me time to rest at my worst hour; 4-5pm.

Sleep is at the top of my list of places I'd like to go back to

Tired = Low

OK, so I got up at 8am and was ready to leave for school at 8.30! I am soooo tired. I am so lucky that the twins can get themselves up, dressed, washed and make breakfast without too much supervision. 

Another short staffed busy day at work. Wow, it's tiring. On leaving work I picked up the kids and had to go straight to bed. I called Tommy to come home as I just could not cope through complete exhaustion. Deb picked up Becs to take to Brownies, and Tommy was home in time to take Oscar to Cubs, do a Tesco shop then pick Becs up from Brownies then Oscar from Cubs.

I felt very low this evening.... I think that going back to work early has worn me out, and I feel guilty that I have no time for the kids when we get home.

A tearful evening... think I need to speak to the Macmillan nurses. I feel lost, now that my treatment has finished, I feel that I need a bit more closure.

Whoever invented knock knock jokes
should get a no-bel prize

Back to Work

32000 hits to my blog.... thank you

Work.

Well, today I returned to work. I still use my special parking place at the Castle. It was good to be back (and good that I was back, as we were short staffed today).

After picking up the twins I was absolutely exhausted and went straight to bed. Tommy came home to take them to the swimming lesson. Then worked in the evening. 

I am now awaiting an appointment date in March for a scan on my lung, just to check that the breast cancer has not gone there and that the previous shadow has now gone.

I need a job sleeping
with lots of overtime

Pie-Eyed

Fig. 1 PIE.

A mad rush catching up on everything ready for going back to work tomorrow. Oscar went out for the day on a Cub event, Tommy and Rebecca went on a bike ride. I made a chicken and leek..... (see fig. 1)

Tried to get a rest in again, 
but there was no time again. 

I am looking forward to going back to work, but am worried about the tiredness.

I may be a schizophrenic 
but at least I have each other

Still tired in the afternoon

Yesterday I spent the day trying to ignore my ironing and doing some retail therapy... nothing. Its always the way!

This morning Tommy took Oscar to his football match, quarter finals. Rebecca and I went up to see the match. It went to a penalty shoot-out, we won! 

Went for a sleep in the afternoon. Cuz Tim came round. Lorna returned some ironing, Loz popped round. Oscar went for a sleep over, Rebecca made a camp.... and slept in it.

Indian take-away for us.

I really am not sure about my hair colour.

Do I have an eating Disrder?
I like to have my pudding 1st, then my starter, then my main

I Do Have my Moments

Right, now I don't want anyone worrying but I thought I would share this poem with you which I wrote back in early February. I now have stopped the early evening depressions and am feeling a lot brighter, so now feel ready to share it with you all.

As I lie each night on my side in bed

The reality and thoughts go through my head.

The wet silent tears run down my face

Changing the colour of my pillowcase.

I so try to keep my sobs at bay

But my snotty sniffs are a sure give away

This hurt and pain that I try to hide

Have obviously been all pent up inside. 

Theres been more ups than downs within this sentence

But at times like this I just vent my vengeance

For most of the time I really have been coping

And despise myself for all this self-sorry moping.

I really can feel so much love and support

Which has taken me further than I'd ever thought

The flowers, the gifts, cards, ironing and cooking

Have carried me forward without even looking.