No More Mr Grey

Grey gone.

Could not lift my sleepy head from the pillow again. Sam took the children to school. Lorna came round to take me to the Caring Hair Studio, a specialist cancer patients charity, where I had my hair trimmed and coloured! 

I kind of miss the grey and feel this will take some getting used to. 

Bevs balls for dinner!

My biggest problem with the younger generation
is that I'm not in it

My Last Radiotherapy

Well, I should have had that rest yesterday. I was so tired this morning that I could not get up. The children went to school with Isobel. Deb picked me up for the last trip. The longest wait in the waiting room. On leaving I was handed a large folder full of notes, leaflets and another folder, informing me of what to expect in the future and how to carry on. (I'll read that later). After a bite of lunch home to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep. 

Bev popped round with some food for us and a freshly baked, still warm, lemon drizzle cake, mmmmm. Tommy bought me some flowers and did a lovely steak dinner to celebrate the end of the sentence. 

They said today that I will get even tireder next week and that the burning will intensify. 

Hairdressers tomorrow!

The only time I ever had a chip on my shoulder
was when I tried to pour the whole bowl into my mouth

Penultimate Procedure

Jo, school mum, twin mum

Today Jo picked me up and took me round the M25 (London Orbital) again to Mt V. We had to wait a little while in the waiting room. But were soon heading back to Hertford. I actually managed to stay awake today before picking up the kids. 

Last visit tomorrow!! Should I carry on daily with my Blog?? or is this it. I still have tests to do and then reconstruction around December time. But you guys must be getting bored of my mundane writings/rantings by now.

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it

Souper!

Got a text first thing from chauffeur no. 13... too ill to drive me (you just can't get the staff these days)! Mum and Dad stepped in and took me to Mount Vernon. Whilst we were there I bumped into Amanda, who I had met in hospital at the QEII back in December when we were having our mastectomies. She was just starting her radiotherapy today.

Chauffeurs No. 13, 

Dad and Mum

Back to Mum and Dads for homemade soup, lovely soup and then home to bed, lovely bed (I hadn't slept the last couple of nights).

From M&D

I'm looking at my laughter lines and thinking ... what ever was that funny?

So tired, I'm going to pearces

We left Woodbridge at lunchtime as the children wanted to spend their birthday money on the way home... they each bought a laptop! 

Pearce's farm shop and cafe

I was sooooo tired but managed to cook the Sunday meal which we had purchased at the farm shop on the way home, when stopping for a coffee.

Back to radiotherapy tomorrow, start of week three.

You want 11 jokes about Wimbledon?
I think tennis enough

Suffolk Nights

31000 hits

Work called me to see if I could go in and help out today, but we were already going up to to see the grandparents in Suffolk for the twins birthday. 

We had a lovely. evening meal. I retired early as I was overtired. 

Worry causes hair loss
When the going gets tough
The tufts get going

Travelling in Style

The children went to play with Luke and Adam. Sue picked me up to take me to the hospital, in a Bentley, no less.  I felt like Lady Penelope. We stopped off at her local for lunch on the way home.

Picked the twins up from Helen's then took them to Bevs to play with Joseph. 

I slept peacefully for a few hours..... then....

6.30 Tommy arrived home, Julia and Leah arrived, Bev and family came to return Bex and Oz, and we all had a jolly, fun evening!

We had a quiet glass of wine
followed by 14 noisy ones

Party Time

Tommy had another day off, so was able to take me back to Mount Vernon with the children today. Whilst we were there I bumped into Lin, survivor, who's husband I had worked with 10 years ago! it was good to have a quick catch up; sorry I missed seeing Dave.  

We stopped in a local pub for lunch on the way home and then got on with preparations for the party.

We had hired Haileybury pool with a large inflatable for 36 kids, packed their tea and set off for the pool. Rebecca, Oscar and most of their class and friends had a fantastic time. 

I managed to stay awake throughout the party (my usual flagging time). 

I must have been really drunk when I drove home last night
We don't own a tractor

Happy Birthday R&O!

Chauffeurs No. 10, 10 today!

Today our babies are 10. Mum and Dad came round for birthday brunch, then the twins got out on their new bikes. We went over to the hospital for my radiotherapy and the family got to see the room which I visit daily.

In the afternoon we walked into Hertford and had a late lunch. The kids played on their bikes again whilst I slept.

Schools Out

Chauffeur No. 9, Sam, 

school mum and neighbour

It's great having teachers as friends and neighbours. Sam took me the hospital, whilst Christian looked after the five children!  We didn't get too lost, just missed a major turning as I was chatting too much. On the way back we stopped off at the shops for a bite and to get a few last minute bits for the twins 10th birthday tomorrow and their party on Thursday.

After the dentist I slept. The children are very excited about tomorrow, poor things get to go on a day trip to Rickmansworth, but I did ask the radiographers if the kids could come in and see the large white room and rotating, floor, bed and machine along with laser beams (takes me back to my teen disco days), they said that they will try if they get time.


Self help group for over talkative people:
On and On Anon

Tit Box

Chauffeurs No. 8. 

Linda and Ted.

Life long family friends

Sonia picked up the twins to take them to the cinema and lunch. Linda and Ted arrived with a large bunch of daffs and took me to the hospital.  The traffic wasn't so good today, and we had a bit of a wait at the Cancer Centre for my appointment. 

Slept in the afternoon. Tommy picked up my new prosthesis from the hospital today on his way home... I bet he felt a right tit!


Whoever invented the zero
thanks for nothing

Half Term

Sunny spring like day, full of energy in the morning, took Rebecca outside on her roller blades, popped into Sams for a cuppa. The kids and I decorated their party food bags and started filling them ready for their pool party.

Mum popped round with a lemon drizzle and some chocolate brownies. I got a lot done in the morning, but then faded as the day went on. Pete called to invite us down for Easter. Lauren dropped in to bring back some ironing. I had an afternoon nap, but as seems to be the norm at the moment am struggling with coping/hormones around early evening time.... feeling tired and unable to cope, getting the blues.

Tommy cooked the Sunday roast, then the children did us an unprompted guitar recital.... otherwise know as their show. Fantastic!

The kids did my exercises with me this evening, even they found them strenuous.

Sam makes a great cuppa
it's her special tea

Spring has Sprung

Another lie-in, and then went into work to help out for a few hours on the busy Saturday schedule. They seem to have been coping quite well without me so far; getting the Saturday team in during the week to cover for me, and probably loads of more stress for Peter. I had to do a bit of policing... but this WPC (Work-worth Paula Collins) wants to be assured that Shepherds is ship-shape!


Straight home at 3 to bed. Wow, work is tiring! 

My spring bulbs have sprung, two beautiful Narcissus. 

These days my happy hour is a nap

Radiotherapy - Over a Third done

Had a lie-in this morning until about 10am. My head cold had nearly gone, it must have been the chillies last night. 

Lindsay arrived to drive me to my last radiotherapy this week (oh yeah, I get the weekend off). 

Chauffeur No. 7, 

Lindsay, twin mum

When we got back to Hertford all the twin mums came round to give Lindsay her birthday present and to have some lunch. It was great to catch up with them all.

Again I slept in the afternoon. 


You'd think I'd be depressed 
   with only one breast,
You'd imagine I hate it
   with one missing tit,
You'd think looking down into my bra
   horrific; seeing a very large scar.

Correct.


2 men walk into a bar
the third one ducks

St. Valentine's Day

Didn't sleep well last night, and woke up with a head cold. I'd been doing so well with no immune system not catching anything. Today Melissa picked me up, every day the journey time is exactly the same (50 minutes each way) and good traffic. 

Chauffeur No. 6,
Melissa, school mum

I was worried that if I were to sneeze or cough during radiotheraphy, they would zap my lung. 

Once home I went straight to bed and slept until early evening. Mum and Dad came round to help the children with their dinner. They bought some beautiful spring bulbs round from Liz & Don.

Tonight was parents' evening at school. I felt too tired and ill to go, so Tommy went with the children. Great reports, well done R & O!

Tried to eat a curry to blow away the germs!

I love sat nav
I don't know where I'd be without it

From Hospital to Hospital

Chauffeur No. 5, Julie.
Twin mum, school mum,
Survivor

Julie picked me up to do the day five run, I think I now know the way to Mount Vernon... just.

On leaving Rickmansworth Julie then chauffeured me to Welwyn Garden City, to hospital number two for the day where I was to be fitted for my prosthesis (chicken fillet). They didn't have my size (the chicken didn't fill-it) and will have to order it in.

Julie dropped me back at Bevs where the children were playing. Stopped in for a cuppa (no bevvies at Bevs) and a chat before returning home to have Laurens mac' cheese for dinner. 

I wanted to test my smoke detector
so I cooked something

30,000 Hits

Chauffeur No. 4, Deb

30,000 hits, wow, thank you guys, your support and love really gets me through.

Today Deb picked me up. We had 2 sat navs with us, but chose not to use them as we felt that we would get there ok.... and we did! Straight in to my appointment again, even though we were early. 

On the way back we stopped off for lunch. I picked up the kids then Lauren came round to drop off a macaroni cheese. I was really tired and went to bed for a while before making pancakes for the twins' tea, then taking Rebecca to Brownies (where she had more pancakes)!

Flippin' Shrove Tuesday

I hate Pancake Day... it's crêpe. 

The Snowy Mount

Tommy was working from home today so he walked the children down to school in the snow. I got a call from the QEII today inviting me to go for my prosthesis fitting on Wednesday (silicone breast form). 

Chauffeur No. 3, Helen

Helen picked me up and took me to Rickmansworth through the slush. Again we were early and I went straight in for my radiotherapy.

The machine which swivels around me.

In the afternoon I rested. 

Helen drove me all the way to MV in the snow,
And what does she have to chauffeur it?

Indian Buffet

Happy birthday Julala

Today I went into work, before meeting the gang for Julia's birthday lunch. Got lots of work done and then met my friends. We started off at the Duncombe Arms, lunched at The Shahensha, then went to the Hertford club.

Whenever I go near a bank I get withdrawal symptoms

Bob Gone

Common Bob now sits lonely on her stand. I suggested to the kids that we throw her out to sea, have a burning ceremony or donate her to someone that needs her next. I can just imagine some lonely dolphin with a blonde wig on! 

Spent most of the day in bed. 

Return flights
They take me back

From Sue to Ju

Chauffeur No. 2 Sue (survivor)

Again I walked the kids down to school. Sue; chauffeur No. 2 arrived early afternoon to ship me off to Mount Vernon. Again, it was so good to catch up. We arrived half an hour early, fortunately they were able to zap me early. As it had been so cold yesterday in the room I wore my gloves!

The traffic coming back was really bad so we popped into M&S until the problem had subsided.

Mum and dad picked the twins up from school and they made some brownies, which we then took round to Julias for her birthday.

When I got there my ski team had bought me a lovely present as I had missed this years trip. Thanks you guys xxx

From my ski buddies

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx

First Day of Radiotherapy

Chauffeur No. 1, Lorna

Got up as usual, then walked the kids to school. My first chauffeur, Lorna came round at 10am and drove me to Mount Vernon. We chatted and caught up on the way. The hospital was very busy. My first radiotherapy appointment was as to be expected, the room is a massive white room with a remote controlled bed and a large white scanner like thing, red and green laser beams, about 4 staff lining me up before the zapping. No pain, just a noise. Lying still with my arms up behind me for about 15 minutes was quite hard. It was cold in there. 

We had some lunch after it was all over... all in all it was a good day. Picked the children up, made some cookies with them and then slept until early evening. 

I've reached the age where I can't function without glasses

Especially if they're empty

Am I 2 Weak 4 3 Weeks?

Only three weeks to go, and then I'm done! 

Well, that's how I should be feeling, but I feel so low about it. It's not that I am frightened of the treatment, in fact I don't know what it is that is making me feel this way. Maybe, as I have had such a long break, that to start again, is just so laborious. It's probably the drugs playing with my hormones making me a blubbering mess, as both chemotherapy and tamoxifen can bring on early menopause!

At work I couldn't quite concentrate entirely. Home for a nap. Chauffeur No.1 turning up at 10am tomorrow. 

Sign language;
It's very handy

Spice up My Jokes

What a busy day at work! Short staffed and manic. Tomorrow is my last day at work for a while. I will be hibernating from then. The radiotherapy is going to make me tired... well, I hope it helps me to sleep at night which I am not doing too well at the moment; I stayed up all night trying to remember if I have amnesia or insomnia.

Mum and Dad came round after school, they got me a book from the library (I think they have sensed that my jokes are getting thin on the ground). 5,000 Great One Liners. Also a new spice-rack (there's a fine line between hyphenated words). 

Halloumi - the only cheese that greets itself in the 3rd person

Bob-Less Bond Babe

Judy Dench (M)

Me (P)

First day in the playground without Bob. I was told that I look sophisticated, "like I could run MI5".

First day at work without Bob. They just called me 'M'... Well, I am just taking it as a compliment (I had always wanted to be compared to a Bond girl)! It was much more comfortable going naked, albeit a bit colder. 

Bond in the bath?
Bubble 07

Chillax

Sunday lie-in. Had a big sort out of the twins' rooms. Tommy made a gorgeous Sunday roast again. We all had a big chill out day. I went to Tesco without Bob to keep my head in order, felt very conspicuoius, but didn't get too many strange looks.

Work, rest, sleep

Another Saturday at work. Lauren popped round after work and we put the world to rights. I am now on count down to radiotherapy starting on Thursday. So, the difference between chemotherapy and radiotherapy is that the chemo destroys all fast growing cells, such as hair, nails, cancer. It is injected via the vein to run throughout the whole body. Radiotherapy does the same, but is zapped via lazer directly to the area concerned.

I now can only wash in Simple soap....soap, I haven't used a bar of soap for years. I can only moisturise with aqueous cream. No perfume or anti-p.

I was accused of being self-important.
I nearly fell off my throne

Feathery Hair

Took the car and left it at the garage, then walked back from there to Laurens house. We went shopping for the morning. Had a laugh which cheered me up. She dropped me off at The Feathers at Wadesmill where I met the twin mums for lunch. Whilst I was there I took off Common Bob to show of my long hair. That really confused the barman when I went to pay! He didn't recognise me.

I got a lovely card today from cousin Clare in Scotland. Tommy picked up the car (he's so strong)... broken suspension spring. Oscar had Andrew round for tea. 

Tired, early night.