Witch Watch

I bought halloween cakes for the office, I tell you it was SCARY how quickly they disappeared! On returning home there was a beautiful pink orchid on the doorstep from aunty Wendy. 

Boo!

After work I slept with the house in complete darkness, so no little trick or treaters came round. I think they would have been more scared of me!

Tommy and I watched a halloween horror movie, then I tucked into the treats we had bought for the ghouls.


Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes

More Appointments

I would have expected the tiredness to have gone by now, but I guess the accumulation of chemo hits hard, only one more to go though. I now have my appointment to see the consultant regarding my op, mid November. (I have also booked for a flu jab at my doctors as my immune system will still be down for a while). 

Interesting to hear on the news this morning about breast cancer screening. 


          "It has been reported that around 4,000 women a year will undergo treatment
            for a cancer that would have done them no harm"

Well, I believe that with my positive attitude, I have beaten cancer along with the help of the treatment.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me

Half Term, Half Asleep

The grand-parents arrived early so that I could go to work before they took Rebecca and Oscar up to theirs for a few days whilst we are at work over half term. After work I slept, then when Tommy arrived home we got a Thai take-away and watched a movie. Soooooooooooooo tired. It seems as if every other day I need rest which then recuperates my energy for the next. 


I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time

Iron Man

More N.R.G this morning, I felt like I was getting up at a reasonable time (although the clocks had changed). I did some ironing, then went to pick up Deb C from the station (my life long friend from York). We sat and nattered; well, I didn't have any news for her as she is so up to speed with my blog. Lauren popped round to return some ironing and to give me a little heart. Then a guy called Roger turned up to return some ironing!! (Thanks Deb S), I explained to Lauren that perhaps next time she could also send a young man round to deliver my ironing!!

Deb had some lunch with us and then later we took her to Stevenage to catch her train back up to York. A lovely day, I had a tiny power nap before dinner, then packed for the children to go to their grand-parents for a few days.

I tried to catch some fog. I mist

Bed Head

Today is National Make a Difference Day, well I can certainly say that I didn't. 

I was meant to be working today, but one of the girls had wanted to swap for next week. I woke up at 11, yes 11am! and then I still didn't actually get up. I slept on and off all day. 

Tommy took the kids to see the Stevenage football match, Lauren returned my ironing, am feeling a little low today. I had got big plans for my day, but none of them transpired... perhaps tomorrow. 


A seminar on time travel will be held two weeks ago

Pressing News

This morning after the school drop off Lauren came round to pick up some ironing, shortly followed by Deb to pick up some more! (The school mums mentioned that they had not offered to help in that department as had I seen the state of their clothes?!!).

Tommy took the day off to try and replenish his batteries, I even ventured out to do a bit of weeding and pruning in the front garden. It is so good to feel brighter and semi-normal again. 

The children broke up for half term today, they are looking forward to their week off. I am really looking forward to spending some quality time with them this weekend and on my day off on Friday, now that I am at a more energised moment within the chemotherapy cycle. I still managed to sneak in a cheeky powernap this afternoon. 


To do is to be [Descartes]. To be is to do [Voltaire]. Do be do be do [Frank 

Sinatra]

Happy Half term everyone xx

Scary Hairy

Last injection this round, whizzed to work in my new motor. Nicky arrived in the playground with two more bottles of the pink fizzy stuff for me. Yesterday I met a mum in the playground who I used to get the train to London with everyday about 12 years ago! The first thing she said was how great my hair looked! I then explained that it was kind of, erm, temporary.

Tonight Oscar went to get his hair cut with his friends, when they came back I had taken my wig, Common Bob, off. I told his friends that I too had got my hair cut. "You look like something from halloween" was the compliment I received! That's a BOO HOO from me! But I am tempted to get out there on halloween, be afraid... very afraid.

We went to parents' evening tonight and we are two very proud parents. 

A friend of mine always wanted to be run over by a steam train. When it happened, he was chuffed to bits!

More Pink Fizz

On the way to Cubs last night Tommy and Oscar went shopping and Oscar, realising that I so love the idea of pink fizz, but just cannot stomach it at the moment, found Pink Lucozade!! 

Great thinking! It's pink, it's fizzy, it's chilled and it gives me energy. it probably won't make me dance on the table tops but may be better for my head the next day! I shall let you know the results once I have tried it.


I remember when I was a little girl Lucozade was only available in the original flavour in a large glass bottle, with an orange coloured cellophane wrapping on it, with a gold foil top. We knew we were really ill if we were given a bottle... how we loved being ill to get that special drink.


"Lucozade aids recovery", 
...but I've got cancer! 

No Pain, No Gain

Could not get up this morning.... so I didn't! Arranged for a neighbour to take the children to school and I let work know I would not be in today. Then I slept solidly for most of the day. It seems to be the easiest thing to do as I have some nasty aches and pains to include, headache, earache, tinnitus, chest pains, bone ache, leg ache, bum ache, flaking skin around my nails and toenails, even nail ache. Nausea, faintness, swollen tongue, body sores, lip smacking, thirst quenching, ace tasting, motivating 
good buzzing, cool talking, high walking, fast living, ever giving, cool fizzing ...Chemo.

Used some of the products to help sooth my body sores that my in-laws had had delivered from Arran Aromatics.

In the evening my Tuesday Fairy Kats came round to catch up with me and my ironing! 


I used to have difficulty sleeping, but now I can do it with my eyes closed

Flutter my Lashes

Eye lashes; eye give up! 

I tried to put on false eyelashes for work today as my own ones, after all this time, are starting to disappear now, gave up on that idea... what a faff. I may just have to hire a couple of caterpillars for a month or two instead.

I left work a bit early for a rest. Two ginger nut biscuits for lunch. I can't wait to enjoy food and drink again. 


A bust-up in our biscuit tin..!!

A Bandit called Rocky (who was Crackers) hit a Penguin over the head with a Club, tied him to a Wagon Wheel with a Blue Riband. He kidnapped a Trophy and made his Breakaway in a Taxi. Police say that Rocky was last seen just After Eight by a Viscount from Maryland Hobnobbing with a Ginger Nut. 

- The Jammie Dodger got away, even with a Tracker

Sunday is Bath Day

15000 hits to my blog. It must be 'cause it's so interesting, let's take today for example....  

In bed all day, the highlight was going to the bathroom, having a bath, washing my very little hair with baby shampoo and going back to bed. That's it. 

I didn't make it into work. I painted my nails blue this afternoon, which now look ghastly, it looks as if the chemo has had some adverse side effect on me, as it did when I wore purple tights last week. As if I don't have enough side effects to add my own splashes of weird colour. Perhaps I should have added a blue rinse to my hair!

Feeling a bit better than I did last chemo at this point, so hopefully I will recover sooner.

Two parrots on a perch. One says "Can you smell fish?"

Hibernation

I should be jumping for joy, what with my super cancer news and also excited with the new car, but I have hit that stage of my chemotherapy again where I just have no energy and am sleeping constantly, I find it difficult to stand up at times, what with feeling light headed and also my legs not working, but I am sure I will make up with big big celebrations when I am feeling better. 

Cuz Tim came round today with hugs, flowers and Champagne... and to see the car. 

Will see how I feel about going into work tomorrow.

Two silkworms had a race – it ended in a tie

Zhu Zhu Pet

Zhu Zhu Car!

Zhu Zhu Pet

Feeling the effects of chemo again. I couldn't face any Champagne last night, felt tired this morning, swollen tongue, hurty legs and bones. Started injecting myself again. Lots of cuddles for me in the playground this morning due to my great news! Went to pick up our new car today, it was exciting (only stalled it a couple of times on the way home). Was meant to meet the twin mums for lunch, but came straight home to bed and slept. Got up to collect the twins, but felt a bit ill at school. I am watching Stand Up to Cancer on channel 4 tonight and realising how lucky I am. Kids at school disco.

Lots of calls, texts, facebooks, and blog comments today, thank you all so much. 

Chemo Queen xxxx

Don’t knock on death’s door. Hit the doorbell and run. He hates that

Keeping A Breast

When I got home from work the breast care nurse telephoned to say that all the bigwigs had had their meeting about me yesterday, and all absolutely agreed that as my cancer has melted away so amazingly (something they hardly ever see), that they feel so positive about my results that they have decided that my best way forward is to have a little op, (a wide local incision) to conserve the breast and the removal of some lymph nodes to the right armpit, a bit of radiotherapy and I'm done!!! When all along they had told me that mastectomy was my path.

There goes my boob job! Ha. 

I phoned Tommy straight away, told the kids then rushed round to Mum and Dads to give them the great news (it's their wedding anniversary tomorrow, so I think they liked my 'gift'). Actually they ended up giving me a gift... Pink Champagne!

Tommy came home, very emotional with a beautiful chemo charm of a locket and a bottle of pink Champagne!



Q: What did one boob say to the other boob? 
A: You’re my breast friend
( . )( . )

100th Post

Chemo Queen here posting my one hundredth dairy entry. I've had over 200 hundred wonderful comments from you guys to my blog (keep them coming)! 

Steroids, loads of anti-sickness tabs throughout the day. Managed another full day at work. 

I really feel that the treatment so far has gone quite rapidly seeing as I was only diagnosed back in July and in three weeks time will be completing the last of my chemo course (all done in 4 months). Yes, I know there's the next stretch to cover still.

I think my hair has just started growing back, it's grey/white and slightly curly (they call it curly chemo). 

I am suddenly realising that I haven't added much funding to my money box, which is for when the cancer has gone! But at least I have decorated it nicely.

I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat

Kaptain Keymo 5

Chemo five

Mum and Dad came round; Dad to take Oscar and his bike to school and Mum to look after poorly Rebecca. 

Tommy and I went to the QEII for my ultra sound and a local anaesthetic to place a clip (metal pin head thing) in the site of the tumour.... which he suggested was very difficult to find and looked more like just a scar now!!! I then had a mammogram to make sure the clip was placed correctly. No pain.

We got home to relieve Mum and then Tommy stayed at home to do his work and Dad took me to the Lister for chemo 5. Another long delay, but in the room of beeping machines and ten chairs full of patients I managed to get one of the good comfy reclining chairs again. 

I helped Dad to work out how to do some extra fancy stuff on his mobile phone and also with the crossword (we only had to cheat a couple of times). 

Once I got home Tommy took Oscar to cubs and Kats came round to help me change the beds. 

Rebecca is now feeling a lot better and should be ready to return to school tomorrow lunchtime.

I didn't sleep last night because of the strong steroids. I actually feel a bit buzzy/hiper tonight from them too. 

Not a crossword from my father!

Sick Girls

Not me in bed this time!

Started taking the strong steroids again today. Left work early to get blood tests and to see my oncologist with Tommy, (a long delay from my appointment time). Whilst we were at the hospital the school phoned to say Rebecca was sick and needed picking up. So dad went to get her and her bike. 

The oncologist said that my bloods are good to have chemo tomorrow afternoon and that it is fine to get the clip put in tomorrow morning. He is going to reduced my chemo 'T' dosage to help prevent fatigue and reduce chances of infection again (although it will still be zapping my ever decreasing cancer). He is happy that I have no problems with my lung. 

Poor Rebecca is poorly and I am not allowed near her, luckily she has super dad for cuddles and attention. Perhaps I could add her to facebook then I can message her, like we all seem to do these days... Failing that, it's back to the mask, bubble or zorbing-ball idea. 

What do you call someone who always wears a mask? 


Two-faced

No Common Bob all day

Today the in-laws came for lunch, Tommy serviced the childrens' bikes ready for their cycling course at school next week. I slept all afternoon. 

With my blog I get all sorts of stats which show me where people are who read the blog, what media they are using, etc.

I don't think I know anyone in Russia or Argentina, and not that many in USA. Would be interesting to see who finds my blog helpful/interesting.

To post a comment:
Press:  Post a comment
Type in the white box, remembering to put your name in there too.
Underneath it says Comment as:
(use the drop down list to choose anonymous)
then hit Publish


If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, 

then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're 

trained for that

I Need Iron Man

I got a call from the QEII yesterday; they want to book me in for another ultra sound scan and to place a marker at the cancer site on Tuesday morning before my chemo at Lister in the afternoon (oh the joys of hospital hopping). I just need to confirm with them how invasive the marker clip op is as it may be too close to my chemo timing.

Made it through most of the day at work today, but left an hour early to come home for a long nap. Feeling anemic and lethargic, not as strong and prepared for my chemo as I have been previously, but I guess as time goes on the body gets weaker.... only 2 more to go, yay!

Just because I have a short attention span doesn't mean I

Sealy, Sealy Me

From Lauren.

Day off!  After school drop off, I met Lauren for breakfast in Hertford, we caught up over a large cappuccino, corn fritters on a bed of spinach with avocado, poached egg and salsa sauce! We pootled around town and Lauren bought me another little heart gift before we went to get our nails done. My kinda day! (Mum was busy doing my ironing whilst I was having my busy morning). 

In the afternoon mum and I went down to the school to see the assembly run by year 5, where the children talked about their recent Isle of Wight trip. Towards the end of the assembly the headmaster was making his speech, when... the hall was suddenly adorned/shrouded with the sound of Seal singing Kiss from a Rose. Which just happens to be our wedding first dance song and thusly my ring tone for when Tommy calls!! Wow, did the whole school, teachers and parents look at me? (Anything for a bit of attention). 

I must not leave my phone on whilst at school

I must not leave my phone on whilst at school

I must not leave my phone on whilst at school

I must not leave my phone on whilst at school

I must not leave my phone on whilst at school



A seal walks into a club

Queue for Computer

Tommy has the laptop, so am back on my phone trying to blog. A long and busy day without any naps..cannot do this without the computer, so will do todays blog tomorrow morning. Sorry bloggies and blogettes. Xx Chemo Queen

Bubble Babe

We all struggled to wake up this morning, must be the cold dark mornings setting in with a bit of central heating. Today at work there were a few sick people trying to keep away from me.

I spoke with the breast care nurse this afternoon as I had been asking her for some guidance, she had spoken with my oncologist who feels that I should probably still go down the mastectomy route, but he wants to discuss my case with all the bigwigs next week. They feel that the shadow on my lung (which has now gone) was just an infection and nothing to worry about. I had not realised that Tommy had been sweating about that one; as if it had of been cancer it would have been very BAD news.

One of the mums at school thought my hair had grown! Well Common Bob is not that amazing! ...Reminds me of my Girl's World styling head from back in the 70's, with growing hair (you just twisted a button on her neck to make her hair grow). 

Hurry up kids, we're going to be late

I have to be really careful around germs after the next chemo on Tuesday, someone suggested masks or plastic bubbles, but the best idea was a zorbing ball. Living on a hill it would be ideal for getting down to the school. 

Time flies like lightning . . . Fruit flies like bananas

Normal Mum

I have now managed... two full days at work; to be able to take and pick up the twins from school; not slept the moment I get home; make them dinner and to take and collect from after school clubs. I nearly feel normal again.

Jo got me some super soothing cream for the sores and itchiness on my back. I am feeling a bit nervous of chemo 5 next week, as the memories of last week are utter nightmares, but I know I must look forward and not back and remember that I had an infection and it was not the 'T' drug making me feel that bad.

Trying to arrange things is so difficult as I never know how I will be. Suppose I'd better start my Christmas shopping now just incase! 

I am running out of one-liners/puns to finish each post with, any suggestions?


I entered a local paper's pun contest.. I sent in 10 different puns, in the hope that at least one of them would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did

Support the Breast

I found this letter on the internet, I like it....

Dear breast cancer:

Once again it is October and your name is one everyone’s lips.  The world has turned to a sea of pink and large and small corporations and companies look to make money based on your infamy and the fear that lurks in the hearts and souls of women the world over.  So many women, who buy this, support that, donate to this fundraiser, walk for 2 days, run for 5 kilometres and all the while, hoping and praying that you and they never come face to face.   They can run from you but sadly too many cannot hide.

You are a sneaky, insidious devil aren’t you breast cancer.  You hide where you can and then when someone least expects you, out you come ready to wreak havoc on the life of the woman (or man) you have claimed as “your own”, their family and their friends.  You think you rule with the upper hand but remember this breast cancer...we know so much more about you now and we are prepared to do battle with you and show you that we are not to be trifled with.

It’s true that some of the people you visit are not aware of your presence and you manage to get a firm grip into their lives and for that I say shame on you.  But remember this...we are educated now about early detection and having yearly mammograms and doing breast self exams and we are well informed about how you operate.  Oh yes we are.

You made me remember how much life is to be savoured and appreciated.  You reminded me of all the small and large things to be grateful for in my life, every single day.  You gave me freedom and you taught me how to deal with fear.  You gave me the gift of every day – that this day; the one I am in is the one that matters.   Not yesterday, not tomorrow but simply today.

When my hair started to fall out, I had my hair dresser shave it off and I loved being bald.  True, I wore a wig when I went outdoors and I lived in bandanas the rest of the time, but the minute I hit the front door, you know that wig went flying onto the bench in the hall.  And how many times did I open the front door to guests bald as a billiard ball?  And how comfortable were people with me...with the real me, the open, honest, bare to the bones this is who I am me?  But most importantly breast cancer, you taught me to love myself and to see myself right down to my soul.

You arrived thinking you were going to be my final nemesis.  You left knowing that I had the gumption, the spirit, the courage and the strength to say “not just yet”.

With fists up,

In Need of Therapy

Feeling better can prove dangerous to the bank balance, but it's the only therapy that I know of, and it works! But even shopping can wear one out. 

I look to the sky and what do I see?

A castle, a rainbow, and dreams for me,

An end to this battle that I must fight,

To rid my feelings of depression and fright,

An end to cancer is not far away,

It will be here some way ...someday

Charity begins at Home

Woke early but then fell back to sleep until noon. My friend Sue came round for the afternoon, I had asked her to give me any help and guidance on helping make my decision based upon her experiences (10 years ago). 

Door to door sales.

Whilst Sue was here a man came to the door asking for a 'couple of minutes' I explained that I was busy and had company, but he was persistent and said it would not take long and was I GETTING MY HAIR DONE? Well he soon left after I explained that I don't have any hair as I have cancer. Poor guy left with his tail between his legs!

It was so lovely to catch up with Sue, just like old times... well not all of them!! Still none the wiser mind you, but has opened my eyes to thinking beyond. 

Hopefully as the days go on I will feel less tired. 


Shoot for the moon... even if you miss, you will land among the stars

I'm Fine, No Fine

Whey hey, how normal to get up and actually walk the children down to school today, good to be back and nattering with the mums, who felt I looked far too good for someone fresh out of hospital, they suspected I'd been to a health spa for a few days, ...I wish! 

I took it easy today catching up and pottering around the house before my afternoon nap. 

Flowers from Mum and Dad.

Spoke to mum and dad who are away at the moment and I hope are having a relaxing time, as all their running around after me, what with ironing, gardening, looking after the children, lifts etc. must be really tiring for them, not to mention the worry of their little girl being not too healthy at the moment. 

We had a lovely evening, Rebecca and I snuggled up on the sofa watching TV whilst Tommy and Oscar played computer chess. I have even managed not to be in bed before the kids tonight!

A letter in the post today regarding my parking ticket stated that they agree that the line is not sufficient and the charge should not have been issued!

A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper

Keeping Abreast?

When I got home from the hospital yesterday I caught up with my blog and then went to sleep, I just have zero energy. Hot sweats through the night. 

This morning Kats came round super early to look after the kids and to take them to school whilst Tommy and I set off to see my surgeon. We needed to discuss with him that, now as my cancer has reduced so substantially, if it is still necessary to remove the whole breast or just to take away the small cancer bit. He sent us away leaving it as my decision alone. I now have lots of research to carry out. I have until the end of my chemo to decide. Returned to work but oh so tired, so returned to bed. 

This evening Tommy took the children to look around my old secondary school, they loved it and want to go there too! We still have a couple more to see, but who knows they could become as clever as their mummy!!


An Appendix is something found in the back of a book. 
Sometimes they get inside people and have to be taken out.

I'm Back

Queenie back home now (I have added some new pictures to the last few days posts).

Amityville; my view.

Well what a few days! I had named it Chemo Queen Suite, but after a few days it felt more like solitary confinement, it wasn't that they handed me my meals through a hole in the door, but I had started to scratch lines on the wall to tell how long I had been in there. I was on the ground floor so had no need to tie sheets together to escape via the window, although my only view was of Amityville, so that way out didn't look too promising. Joking aside the whole ward had an access security code, and a few of the inmates tried to escape during the night, there was a sign on the door asking visitors not to let anyone out, especially those wearing pyjamas!

Dr Collins, or is it the janitor?

Every person who entered my cell had to put on a protective apron and gloves, so that I could not catch any germs or infections. Lauren sent a pile of books; one of them was a story about someone living in a room 11' x 11' and never leaving, mmm, good one Loz! Could have written that one myself! It is called  ROOM 'Startling original and moving... Endearing and utterly compelling' ... a bit like my blog then.

Luckily I had my get out of jail free card and was let out on good behaviour this afternoon with a bag full of drugs. Lovely to be back home with my little family.

I love this quote found for me by Jill: 

“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.” 
   ― Audrey Hepburn
Thank you to everyone for all the good wishes xx

Chemo Queen Suite

Yesterday was the first day of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Well, I was very aware! One test they took blood from my artery! A bad nights sleep in Chemo Queen Suite, lots of interruptions every few hours. Have the loudest clock ever in my suite. Room service didn't serve my breakfast in bed until 8.45am. Temperature dropping, no sickness or fainting today, feeling brighter. Watching TV all day, even found a shopping channel selling wigs. Alas, Tommy had taken my credit card home! 

in hospital, cannot post

Chemo Queen Suite

Thought I felt a bit better this morn, but oh no. another day off work. Phoned the hospital to let them know that I was gattgettingg bored of being in bed for the 4th day. They told me to go straight to a&;e. Lots of tests later, I have neurogenic sepsis. It's something that can happen with chemo. As I am not allowed to mix eith any germsNow hooked up to an introvenious drip, giving me anti,biotics. allowed to mix with any germs they have put me in my own suite, TV, en,suite. Premier inn eat your heart fainted and peuked at hospital. l have not gone cuckoo, I just cannot edit from my phone. My brain is as big as ever (?)